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Ask Rayceen – Questions From Readers 2017




These are a few questions sent to me from our readers.  It is truly an honor to use my years of wisdom and insight to uplift my community. Now my beloved, I have changed the names but not the city, so folks know who they are, but the world doesn’t know.





Question 1:

I am over 50 living in Washington, DC and at times I don’t see myself as beautiful any more.

William – Washington, DC


Listen Apple Dumpling, you may not have it tight like you did at 18 but so what if you are grayer, fuller, and older. No one looks like the prom king or queen any more. Your beauty is now defined by your amazing life experiences and because you have lived you are SHINNING and that light brightens up any room when you enter.

Question 2:

I met a woman who loves me more than I love her because I don’t know how to love myself.  What should I do?

Julia – North Carolina


It is important to be honest but be in tune with her feelings. Sit her down in a quiet place and explain that you don’t know how to love yourself, and it is unfair to lead her on because she is too special of a person for that. Her feelings will be hurt but in time she will understand and appreciate your honesty. My final word for you-THERAPY!

Question 3:

I have a friend who is a functional alcoholic and trying to adopt a child.  As a friend what should I do?

Selena, Texas


There are some folks that would say, “QUEEN mind your own business,” but children are a gift from GOD and should never be placed in the hands of someone who needs help plus a 12-step program.  Speak your mind, but come from a place of love.

Question 4:

I held my position at my last job for 15 years, but I’ve been having problems trying to find another one. HELP!

Terry, New York


It can be many factors as to why you are having problems. Perhaps you may need to update your resume, interviewing skills, or get with an employment agency. We all hit a bump or two in the road of life, but learning to ask for help allows one to find their way down the yellow brick road.  So put on your ruby slippers and “ease on down the road.”

Question 5:

I am over 40 and making my transition into becoming a woman along with being in a long-distance relationship and starting to feel scared.

Mikki – Philadelphia, PA


Honey, you have lived a portion of your life already being scared but now you are free. So keep walking in truth, EAT, PRAY, AND LOVE.

Question 6:

I am bipolar, bi-sexual woman engaged to a man on the verge of breaking up. Feeling lost.

London – Maryland


Sometimes we are powerless over things we can’t control but the one thing we can is our health and well-being. Follow your doctor’s orders, take your medication and talk about your feelings with your therapist. Because men are like a bus, if you miss one the next one is coming soon, child have a seat and wait in the meantime. Jane might pull up, so hop in and take a ride.


Now Mother may not claim to know all the answers but honey, I didn’t get this old being stupid. I listened to those queens who carried a AARP card and were willing to scare some words of wisdom; found an affirming church; befriended some good Judy’s, and made us of a  great therapist.

Love Always,