When You Wish Upon A Star
A Trans Man’s Journey Dealing With the Emergence of God, Spirituality
and Living in His Truth
Rev. Li Arnee – Las Vegas, NV
Wishing upon the stars was something I did a lot of as a child, and just like Pinocchio, I prayed of becoming a real boy. I am a man of trans experience, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made. At a very young age, there were two things I knew: one was I was called to serve God because, like John in Revelations, I too was given a glimpse of God’s plan from a divine perspective. The vision of me being chosen by God was during an assembly at school. This is something I didn’t understand, but I knew I would one day have to succumb to it. And second, I knew I was a boy.
It was the death of my mother and my journey into Ministry that helped me gain the strength to start my journey into manhood. While attending an assembly at one of the Lutheran schools I attended, we were shown a movie on the rapture. In a flash, I saw myself ascending into the movie, and I became the lead person to fight against those who had the mark of the beast. This left me with a question that remained in my heart for years: why was I left behind if I loved God?
One day, I spoke with the assistant pastor about my experiences, and he explained that my vision could be about leading those who were emotionally destitute, spiritually broken, and marginalized. This began to make sense as I cared for my mother, who eventually passed away, leading to a turning point in my life.
In 2008, I heard a sermon by Archbishop Carl Bean that resonated with me deeply, highlighting that God’s love is for everyone. This marked the beginning of my new life. As time passed, I struggled with my identity, initially identifying as a butch lesbian. However, as I learned more about trans experiences, I felt out of place even within the lesbian community. It wasn’t until the death of my mother that I fully embraced my identity as a trans man. I felt free to live my life authentically and started the process of aligning my mind and body. I realized that identity comes from within, not just external appearances. It’s not the cosmetics or your exterior body parts that make you a man or a woman, but it’s your soul and what’s in your heart that makes you real. Just like Pinocchio, the blue fairy or angel says, “When you’re brave, truthful, and unselfish, you’ll become a real boy.” In other words, when you’re brave enough and truthful with yourself to live your life as God intended, you’ll be happy. She also says, “The most important part about being real isn’t what you’re made of, but what’s in your heart.” Today, I pastor in Las Vegas as an openly trans man. I’m a husband and a father of twins. I mentor trans youth, especially trans masculine individuals. I’ve started my own ministry named Urban Rainbow and Gender Diverse Ministries. I’ll be leading the spiritual safe space at the UNLV Diversity Center. My journey has led me to a place of self-discovery, acceptance, and service to others who are navigating similar paths.
