God Loves Queer Youth Too!
Rev. Elise Saulsberry
Director of Programing, SisterReach
and Pastor, Agape Affirming Ministries
Memphis, TN
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and gender expansive teens are committing suicide at alarming rates and few are giving this crisis the attention it deserves. Headlines on social media and news outlets blast their stories, picture after picture, leaving us wondering, “Who could be so cruel to push these kids to suicide?” or “What happened and how do we continue missing opportunities to include and affirm them?” Those closest to them speak on how loving, caring, and full of life they were. And we gasp at photos of mourning mothers grieving over the caskets of their children. But after those teens’ burials, we hear deafening, screaming silence from lawmakers, churches, school administrators and the community at large. What will it take for us to stop and give attention to queer teens and end suicide caused by bullying and other forms of homo and transphobia?
One story I have not been able to let go of is that of Nigel Shelby, a 15-year-old who made headlines in 2019, dying by suicide. According to sources, Nigel came out to his mother as gay a few years before this heartbreaking incident and expressed his dreams of becoming an entertainer. Like any child, Nigel deserved an opportunity to graduate from high school and pursue what he would define as abundance for his life. Being male and Black had already stacked the cards against his ability to achieve and thrive without a challenge. Add sexual orientation, and like many young people before him, bullying ended his journey traumatically. His smile, ability to love freely and his once exuberant presence now sleeps eternally, dimming the light of the world. His dreams were halted; and not by his own hands; but by homophobia. How do we stop this from becoming another child’s reality?
In Tennessee, where I live, serve as clergy, and advocate for the human rights of vulnerable Black and Brown people of color across gender identity and sexual orientation, legislators continue to craft and pass harmful policies that harm young people in general, but queer youth most of all. Their queer identities have been cherry-picked to shame and silence with vitriol and unrighteous judgment by legislators who claim to love the Lord but hate God’s people who do not pass their litmus tests. As a pastor and lesbian, who presents along the masculine spectrum, prioritizing the humanity of LGBTQIA+ and gender expansive individuals isn’t just part of my job, but also my ministry.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens. In 2016, the CDC reported that LGB[Q+] youth are almost five times more likely to commit suicide. Out of 50 states, only 19 have anti-bullying LGBTQ laws. Our failure to support young people at any stage of their development is dangerous and, in many cases, deadly. It is imperative that we support young people as they navigate social, physical, emotional, mental, and sometimes spiritual transformation. This includes queer youth. And yes, God loves queer youth too!
SisterReach’s mission includes ensuring that those most vulnerable in our community have all they need to live healthy lives, raise healthy families, and live in safe and sustainable communities. Queer youth are included among the vulnerable and it is all our responsibility to honor, protect and support them having unhindered access to human rights. This includes their sexual orientation, gender identities, and spiritual rights as young people. Unfortunately, people who identify anywhere on the spectrum of queer identity find themselves in the crosshairs of moral weaponized judgment and homophobic violence across this nation. In Nigel’s case, this young vulnerable child felt he had no other remedy than to end his life. Nigel deserved to live. Nigel deserved to be loved and supported. So does every child in our world – just like you do.
